Man Upset That His Wife Wants To Celebrate Their Son's Birthday On Veterans Day Instead Of Honoring His Service
Being a service member is a fundamental part of the man's identity, and he won't easily let go of his traditions and connections to the military.
DementevaJulia, Krakenimages.com / Shutterstock A woman is asking others if she is in the wrong for planning to celebrate her son’s birthday on Veterans Day. Although he was born on the actual holiday, the woman’s husband is angry and offended.
Being a former service member, he believes that the day should be dedicated to him.
The man accused his wife of ‘disrespecting his military service’ after she arranged to celebrate her son’s birthday on Veterans Day.
Sharing her dilemma to the AITA subreddit, the 29-year-old woman reveals that she has been married to her 31-year-old husband for three years. Her husband is an army veteran who served for eight years before he was honorably discharged.
According to the woman, being a veteran is a significant part of her husband’s identity. “He values his military service as a very important part of himself and his history,” she wrote.
Photo: olgsera / Shutterstock
As fate would have it, the couple welcomed their first child on November 11, which also happens to be Veterans Day. Since they are parents now, the woman and her husband are planning how they will be spending future holidays, which includes their son’s first birthday.
“It finally came up that he had been born on Veterans Day, which my husband obviously knew but I don't know if it sank in at the time,” the woman wrote. Each year on the holiday, they usually hold a Veterans Day dinner to honor the woman’s husband and other former service members.
However, since they now have a child whose birthday falls on Veterans Day, the woman told her husband that she “fully intends” to celebrate their son on his birthday, and suggested that they hold the annual dinner the following day.
The woman’s husband was offended that she would even consider changing their usual Veterans Day plans to accommodate their son’s birthday.
“My husband was angry, and said that it's unreasonable to move a whole holiday when the whole US is celebrating on that day and that we could celebrate our son’s birthday the day prior or the next day,” the woman shared.
Her husband also believes that she is “disrespecting his military service” by choosing to focus on their son’s birthday, and argues that they can celebrate another day since he will not know the difference at just one year old.
While he and his wife are still at odds over how they should celebrate their son’s birthday and Veterans Day, the woman emphasized that her husband is an incredible man.
“My husband is typically very modest about his service, and he is a wonderful father and a wonderful husband,” she wrote. “His military service is something deeply important to him,” she added, noting that he has lost friends in combat.
Most people believed that despite the man’s military service, he should be willing to put his child’s birthday celebrations over his Veterans Day traditions.
“I'm speaking after serving 20+ years in the US military. Any veteran that would put Veterans Day above the birthday of his/her child is 100% TA,” one Redditor shared. “His duty now is to his son,” another user commented.
“I was also born on Veteran's Day and none of my military family members ever cared that my birthday was celebrated on 11/11. They celebrated with me,” another user wrote. “I find it really weird that your husband is holding Veteran's Day as this holy day for the military.”
“Your son's birthday is far more important. You can celebrate the day before or after, or maybe even after he has gone to bed if your husband feels so strongly about it, but he cannot replace the birthday,” another user added.
Photo: Krakenimages.com / Shutterstock
While it is true that as a parent, you should always put your children first and go above and beyond for them, the man’s feelings surrounding Veterans Day should not be dismissed, especially considering the fact that he is a former service member.
Having dedicated so much of his life to serving in the army and losing close friends in combat, wanting to uphold his usual traditions for the holiday does not necessarily mean that he is a bad parent or that he does not love his son.
It can be challenging to re-adjust to civilian life after serving in the military, including carrying on with traditions such as birthdays.
According to a study conducted by Pew Research Center, roughly one in four veterans (26%) claim that it was at least “somewhat difficult” returning to the normalcy of everyday life after combat. For them, being a service member was a crucial part of their identity and is something that they will never want to let go of.
Celebrating Veterans Day and honoring their living and fallen brothers and sisters will always be a part of who they are, and letting go of those traditions and celebrating new ones cannot be easy.
While we do not have to agree with the man’s reaction to his wife suggesting celebrating their son’s birthday, we should at least attempt to sympathize with him.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.