Man ‘Can't Stand’ Looking At His Wife Because She ‘Stopped Trying’ And It ‘Disgusts’ Him

This man let his shallowness show, but he doesn't seem to care.

Man upset, text from Reddit Prostock-studio / Shutterstock; Reddit
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A man on Reddit felt the need to get something about his wife off his chest, so he made a post on the “r/TrueOffMyChest” subreddit. He shared that he could no longer stand looking at his wife and that he had been planning on divorcing her.

Despite sharing some context on the situation and explaining the reason behind his aversion to his own wife, most people were not on his side when everything was said and done.

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The man claimed that he can't stand looking at his wife because she's not as attractive as she was in college.

“When I, 27, met my wife, 27, in college. We were both in frats and sororities respectively,” he explained, “and not to make myself sound too self-obsessed, we were both really attractive at that time.” Around 22 or 23 years old, “right after college,” he said, he and his wife had gotten married, “and I think that’s where things started to go downhill.” 

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They had planned a lot of things together, and being the same age helped them move their lives in the same direction. The man explained they had talked about having kids recently, but something has been putting that plan on hold.

“We don't have any kids yet and we were actually planning on starting next year to try and have kids,” he explained. “The goal was to wait till we were financially stable, but it seems like the moment we got married my wife stopped trying.”

Trying not to sound self-obsessed failed, and it's apparent that all he cared about was her looks since, from the beginning, he made no note of his wife's character or personality.

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“I will be honest here. The main reason I fell in love with my wife was because of how beautiful she was,” he wrote. “Back then she was fit and energetic, but now it's all changed. Since we've been married she has steadily over time been putting on weight to the point where she has to be double the size she was when we got married.”

He claimed that he can no longer be intimate with his wife because of her looks.

The man got quite abrasive and hurtful by this point and talked about how every time they try to get intimate — typically from her advances — he can’t do it. He claimed that “sometimes she'll put on some lingerie and whenever she does, my stomach just twists due to her appearance.”

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He, on the other hand, claims to work out five times a week for at least an hour despite having a full-time career — he makes it a point to emphasize that she doesn’t work.

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He continued offering nothing about his wife's personality and character, instead opting for resentment and slamming the woman who he claimed to love.

A majority of comments told the man he was self-centered and shallow, and that all he ever cared about was her looks. And this woman shouldn't have to put up with a man like that.

Redditors made it very clear that they were not on his side. “It sounds like you were merely attracted to her... nothing more. I don't think you were actually in love with her,” one person wrote. “Divorce is a wise choice, but you should also consider seeing a therapist. You have some unhealthy thought patterns, and therapy may help.”

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Women are constantly being pitted against themselves to look good for men and achieve societal body standards.

Society is always telling women that they need to look good for men and that their bodies should conform to the harmful body standards of society. They can't gain any weight, they can't grow old, but men are often allowed the ability to do all of these things.

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For example, the "dad bod" trend is something that would never fly for a woman. Instead, the body positivity movement is constantly criticized and fat-shaming runs rampant.

The reality is, our bodies are constantly going through changes and there are more important things in life than conforming to what society feels your body should look like.

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Sometimes, people will gain weight based on a ton of different factors — and that's okay. That doesn't mean you should be loved any less or deemed less attractive than anyone else.

Your partner should not be pressuring you to lose weight, and for people who have partners that are, the Redditor above had some great advice on how to move forward with that person.

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Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor for YourTango who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.