1-Question Emotional Availability Test Tells You Whether Or Not Someone Is Ready For A Relationship
Ask yourself this one question before trying to figure out if someone can commit to you.
Odua Images | Canva The dating world is a tumultuous landscape, and as we near the start of “cuffing season” and prepare to cozy up by our fireplaces, more and more people are out searching for love and wanting to people they can make an emotional connection with.
To help figure out whether or not people truly are searching for an emotional connection, an astrologist named Chris J, who does regular love compatibility readings, tells people about the one question you can ask someone to figure out their emotional availability.
He says you should ask ‘What is your type?’ to figure out someone’s emotional availability.
“Here's a test you can use to see how available somebody is,” Chris says in a video. But above all else, Chris suggests that people use this on themselves first. “So I'm gonna ask you right now and pause this video if you need to while you answer, but what's your type?”
In the comments, dozens of people responded with what their types were.
Some people immediately thought of physical traits — one person said they were searching for a specific eye color, another said they wanted someone with light skin, and a third said they were looking for a person who was “somewhat nerdy with a slight swag.”
Others opted for more personality-focused traits, like someone who is “independent, emotionally mature, realistic.” Someone else simply asked for someone who cares, but it seemed like a lot of people had different responses to the question posed by Chris — and that was exactly the point.
“If the first things out of your mouth, or the main things that came out of your mouth, are physical, that is a huge indicator that you're only really ready for a service-level connection and not as emotionally available as you think you are,” Chris said, and it makes sense.
Someone’s “type” could be anything, but if your first reaction is to target physical traits, then that likely means that’s what you’re currently searching for, according to Chris. Of course, this answer can change and is likely to change, or maybe it simply means that’s the initial priority, but he does emphasize that it’s merely an indication of what you’re searching for.
As someone said, “This does make sense, but I do want them to look attractive to me lol.” Of course, physical attraction is a natural thing to consider when it comes to overall compatibility, but Chris posits this as something that could potentially be scary.
Chris believes that dating someone with a 'physical type' can be scary.
“It is scary to date someone who's like, ‘my physical type is this,’ because first and foremost, there are 8 billion people on this planet. You will find a lot of people that look exactly like that,” he explains, adding that this is part of the reason he believes cheating is running rampant.
Aside from that, there’s the one thing that all human beings on this Earth will inevitably have to deal with — Father Time. “But also, even if you check those boxes now, you're not gonna look like that forever.”
People’s looks will change over time — aging is a natural, human experience, after all — but Chris explains this might be why there are so many scandals and affairs that involve older people hooking up with younger people: they’re just trying to check those boxes that are missing from people their age.
Of course, Chris emphasized that he doesn’t want to sound like he’s criticizing these folks and talking down on that preference. “If you're just trying to have fun, have a good time, and pass the time, more power to you,” he says.
But he’s acknowledging that those who will answer that their type is more emotional and mental are emotionally available and likely searching for a long-term relationship.
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor for YourTango who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.