Mom Broken By Her 8-Month-Old Daughter Asks How People Survive With More Than One Kid — The Answers Are Brutally Honest
Parenting seems to remain a mystery for most parents.
Peopleimages.com - YuriArcurs, Lemonsoup14 | Canva A mom on Reddit’s “r/Parenting” subreddit posted about her and her husband’s experience with their 8-month-old baby. As two new parents with full-time jobs, she revealed that by the end of the day they were having, they felt broken.
Looking for some sort of guidance, explanation, or at least a little bit of reassurance that she was on the right path, she posted on the subreddit asking how parents survive with more than one kid, as she was struggling with parenting even one.
People were brutally honest about their struggles with parenting more than one kid.
Although her post is short, the woman shared a glimpse of what her daily life looks like as her 8-month-old baby is sick with a fever.
“So my partner and I have [an] 8-month-old and we are tired every minute of the day,” she writes. “Yesterday was our breaking point... Our [daughter] had a fever and she was crying for 24 hours straight. Not a normal cry, but full terror mode. Since we both have jobs, (he works as [freelancer]), we were broken at the end of the day. We cried too at night and I had a panic attack.”
Photo: Reddit
Assuming this person is residing in the US, having one baby is hard enough. Having to fully support a baby financially means having to work. Having to work means paying for childcare. The childcare stops once you get home from work, and by that point, you’re exhausted from working all day and dealing with the stressors of having this pressure.
Throw in normal life stressors and anxieties and a sick baby that won’t stop crying, and it only seems natural that one might feel broken. But the important thing is how you manage this kind of stress and feeling of brokenness.
The answer? You don’t.
A commenter revealed that surviving parenthood is by lying to yourself and figuring it out as you go.
Of course, parenting looks different for everyone, and not every child is the same. It may be a breeze for one set of parents compared to the other, but the top comment on this post revealed that the secret to surviving more than one kid (or even just one) is a lie — the one you tell yourself.
“You reach the [1-year] mark with baby 1 where they become a little more independent and stop looking like chunky newborns… and you think to yourself ‘Omg, I’ve totally got this! I can handle two for sure!’” they start. “And then, in the process of growing baby #2, baby #1 completely turns their personality upside down. They become…a toddler. As if they were tricking you into having another baby so that you’d be too exhausted to stop their shenanigans.”
Photo: Reddit
They tell you that baby number two is actually entirely different, and don’t even get them started on the surprise baby number three that will just as easily turn your world upside down until you’re holding two child leashes in your hand, pushing a stroller, and using your other hand to balance a cup of coffee all at the same time.
“Where was I going with this? I can’t remember…OH, so in summary…Uh, you lie to yourself thinking you can handle everything now and then you come to discover that no, you cannot handle everything you’re just adapting and lowering your expectations on what your own parenting should look like,” they write, and that’s just the thing.
Parenting is all about figuring it out as you go.
Just as there is no perfect child, there is not perfect parent. No parent gets it right 100% of the time and it's normal to feel overwhelmed by the massive undertaking that is raising a human. In fact, authors of a 2011 study admitted that “the emotional demands of parenthood may simply outweigh the emotional rewards of having children.”
When it all feels like too much, Healthychildren.org advises reaching out for help, whether that be from family members and friends who can step in when you need a break or a professional who can help coach you through it. "Licensed and certified psychologists, social workers, and other mental health professionals can offer support and suggestions for big and small setbacks," the site says.
Everyone’s situation is different, but the important thing for this couple to do is hang on tight. Things will get better eventually.
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor for YourTango who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.