Worker Gives 3 Examples Of Military Jargon People Need To Stop Using At Their Corporate Jobs
It’s just not that serious.
If you’re going to work in Corporate America, there’s a whole new language you have to learn complete with witty phrases, strange abbreviations, and email sign-offs you’ve never even heard of. Business leaders are constantly adding to their arsenal of “corporate lingo” and have even included military jargon in the mix, but not everyone is a fan.
Corporate professional Jack Lawler is an advocate for getting rid of this military jargon in an office setting and shared the expressions and phrases that he thinks should be ousted from workplace parlance.
“Some of you really need to realize we are not in the military,” Lawler annoyingly stated. “We are in Corporate America… in desk jobs.”
Here are 3 examples of military jargon that people should stop using, according to a corporate professional.
1. 'Boots on the ground'
Employees are being deployed into their cubicles, not the battlefield, and it's absurd to insinuate otherwise.
“Stop saying ‘boots on the ground’... we’re going to a sales conference in Omaha,” Lawler said. “You’re getting Hilton points and miles. You’re not shipping off to invade Normandy.”
2. 'Mission critical'
While it’s important to abide by timelines, corporate professionals are not losing their lives over missing “product launches” and arbitrary deadlines.
“Things are not ‘mission critical’ because we’re not invading another country,” he added. “They are important, we should launch the product on time, but it’s just not ‘mission critical.’”
Photo: miljko / Canva Pro
Commenters laughed over Lawler's witty rhetoric and they completely agreed, even sharing their own “war stories” from corporate offices. “We had a ‘war room’ at my office,” one commenter said. “It was specifically for REVIEWING DOCUMENTS!”
3. 'In the trenches'
Commenters were definitely having more fun than they’ve ever had at their offices and even Microsoft’s corporate TikTok account was laughing over his military jargon debrief.
“We’re not in the trenches, we’re in Excel and Outlook,” Lawler teased. “Look — we’re sending emails, not bombs.”
As one commenter succinctly put it, “They’re not motivating us. They’re just spewing nonsense, in hopes that something sticks.”
Not only is military jargon in corporate offices absurd, but it’s also potentially problematic for many employees.
Expert on innovation culture, Soren Kaplan, explained that military jargon in an office “systematically elevates traditionally ‘masculine’ qualities and traits as the most valued and important for moving up into the ranks of leadership.”
This means that every time we communicate with others at work, we’re fostering a toxic culture that pulls from years of “sexism, homophobia, and toxic masculinity.”
So, the next time you're drafting an email or emphasizing an important point on a Zoom call, skip the work speak and choose to speak to your co-workers like neighbors. You can talk to them like normal human beings, instead of pulling from an exclusive and problematic “business language.”
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture analysis and human interest stories.