7 Reddit Sex Workers Reveal The Saddest Requests They've Received From Lonely People
Their stories reveal the humanity of companionship
Marko Aliaksandr / Shutterstock The need for intimacy and connection is a common human feeling that drives many of us to build the relationships. It's ultimately the reason we all connect in the first place.
Sex workers often provide companionship and emotional support to clients
When we think about intimacy and connection, we don’t necessarily relate that to sex work. We think of having friends, dating, marriage, relationships that we can have for free. Sex work is often thought of as transactional and emotionless.
Reddit sex workers tell stories about companionship and connection
A recetn r/askReddit thread centering on sex workers who have been paid for companionship instead of sex has been making the rounds.
Here are the top 7 stories from Reddit sex workers that show us sex work is not always about sex, but actually, the need for companionship:
1. The cheer up session
u/ResponsibleHibby was conducting a VIP session and was suddenly requested to stop dancing. The client suddenly broke down in tears and said that he and his friends were only there because his friends wanted to “cheer him up." According to the client, he'd just caught his wife in bed with another man and recently got a divorce. The now ex wife told the children that he was the one cheating and now his kids hate him.
2. The man who couldn't sleep alone
u/ColdHeaux has a colleague at the strip club they worked at who would be paid the VIP price just so the client could sleep on their lap the whole night. The club was open from 6PM-2AM, and every night this client would come in, nap on her colleague’s thighs until closing time, give her a hug and then leave. According to her colleague, the man was married for 45 years and his wife had just passed away. He hadn’t slept alone since he was 18 and couldn’t sleep in his bed on his own. So every night, he’d sleep through the booming music from the speakers until closing time. There was even a rumor the client brought along a perfume that his wife used to wear.
3. The one who only wanted to dance
An elderly man would come in for an hour or two whenever he’d save enough money. All he’d want to do is hold u/tinymountains and sway gently to the music, nothing else. After a couple of months, he shared that he used to do this with his wife before she passed and that he missed the intimacy of their moments together.
4. A grief-stricken son
u/Smokeyxxx had a call at 630AM in the morning, which was ignored at first but eventually was answered. The client wanted to see them within the hour. Smokeyxxx showed up to his room at 730AM and to their surprise saw a tall, fit guy in his late 20’s who was obviously intoxicated. After Smokeyxxx began to ask questions to keep the mood light, the client broke down. He told her that he was in town because his father just passed away and he didn’t want to be alone. So smokeyxxx stayed with him, listened to him talk about his father and let him grieve. Nothing sexual happened aside from a single kiss right before smokeyxxx left.
5. Hiding from abuse
u/FlawlessFido is a male sex worker who once had a girl contact him who could only come over in secret. When he asked why their encounters had to be so secret, she explained that her boyfriend was abusive and controlling and had followed her before when she’d hang out with her friends. They talked most of the night until her boyfriend called and asked how things were going, and she lied to him about where she was. Finally, she was brought back to the train station, where she gave u/FlawlessFido a sad goodbye.
6. An unexpected new family
A woman had lost her baby at birth and had been left by her husband when she needed someone the most. She felt lonely and decided to contact Best_Ad8485. She would take him home and talk with him for hours. However, as time went on, she became dependent on him and eventually told him she was in love with him. The age difference was stark (21 and 43), and she came to think of him as the “son she’d never had.” At one point she sold her house, bought a smaller apartment in the city but made a bedroom just for Best_Ad8485. She even made him pancakes when he’d wake up. Eventually, Best_Ad8485 committed himself to her and is now being taken care of by this former client.
7. The military man
A man in the military was in quarantine for two weeks because he had recently travelled. He didn’t want to do anything but chat. He spoke about how he didn’t want to be in the military, but his father and grandfather were in the military so he felt a familial duty to join as well. He couldn’t go home because his father and grandfather would probably beat him, but felt trapped in his life and didn't know what else to do. So he paid beid-thfis-wod-d to talk to him about his problems.
What people don’t realize is that a lot of what sex work is about is supporting clients through their most loneliest and desperate of times, even if that means they have to pay for it.
Sex work is oftentimes met with stigma, simply because the assumption is that all sex workers do is have sex all day. This is absolutely not true.
RELATED: 16 Men Explain Why They See Sex Workers
Clients reach out for various reasons, whether it’s because they recently went through a divorce or their partner has passed and they are in need of someone to take their partner’s place.
The need for connection has increased exponentially since COVID-19 hit, and clients are looking for a solution to their loneliness more than ever.
Take for instance this Vox story by Emily VanDerWerff, a previous sex worker who shares her experience to highlight the sudden uptick in online sex work:
“A lot of people, when the pandemic happened, especially if they were living alone or had a really small bubble of people, were really feeling an urge to reach out and connect... There’s some that only want the sexy entertainment, and there’s some that want the feeling of intimacy and connection — the things that you would maybe talk to a partner about. They would want to talk about feeling stressed out or feeling sad. They wanted to feel understood.”
There are so many stories about people reaching out to sex workers because they're alone, isolated, grieving, and have nowhere else to turn. If you think sex work is only about sex, think again.
Angelique Beluso is a sex educator and writer who covers feminism, pop culture and relationship topics. Follow her on Twitter for more.