5 Personality Types You'll See At Every College Party
Don't even ask - these people are ALWAYS at the party.
John Arano on Unsplash It's time to head back to school! In addition to new notebooks, cute pens, and a fresh reload of cafeteria credits, college kids across America are gearing up for some of the craziest kick-off parties of the year.
It's all part of the collegiate experience — you seemingly can't graduate until you've had a wild night that ends with you practically crawling to the nearest diner the next morning with a headache to end all happiness and stomachache to keep you in the bathroom for hours.
You should definitely have fun and experience all college has to over you before you enter the “real” world, but be aware of the issues alcohol can bring into your life if you abuse it. Binge drinking is a term that is typically associated with college students. It consists of patterned drinking that raises the blood alcohol content to 0.08 (the legal driving limit) and above. This behavior can lead to health and safety risks and longer-term damage to your liver and other organs.
Be safe, babe! The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism reports that one in every four college students admit to their academic careers suffering as a direct result of drinking.
In addition, about 696,000 students between 18 and 24 are assaulted each year by another person who has been drinking, and about 97,000 students in that age range are sexually assaulted due to alcohol-related actions. If you ever feel unsafe or think a friend is in trouble, seek help immediately!
Although each college has its own vibe when it comes to the party scene, one thing is solid across the board: you can be dropped into any party and see the same five people.
Maybe you visit your cousin at their liberal arts college or pass by a frat party at a neighboring state school. Regardless of the circumstances, you will be able to identify these five people's party personality types by the time you have a chance to ask the person next to you what their major is.
1. The Hardcore Pre-gamer.
Pregaming is a sacred event that everyone experiences and appreciates within their first few semesters of college. We are broke college kids, we can’t afford to run up a $60 bar tab every weekend night. Why pay $5 for a single Whiteclaw in a bar when you can buy a 12-pack for $15 and have just as much fun in your bestie’s room?
The Hardcore Pregamer party personality type jumps the gun on every party night. By the time they get to the actual event, they are far too intoxicated to fit in with the rest of the crowd. While everyone else is embracing their slight buzz and ready to run the marathon of the night, The Hardcore Pregamer has already sprinted laps around you.
But the joke is on them, they’ll be making friends with the toilet bowl before midnight.
2. The AUX Hog.
“Guys, I have the perfect playlist queued up.” Those are some famous last words! Get ready to listen to the most nauseating beats and borderline offensive lyrics you’ve never dreamed of hearing.
Maybe you have a new Top Charts song to share to keep the vibes going and the drinks flowing? Tough chance that it will make it to the Beats Pill in the corner! The AUX Hog personality type completely insists that their music taste is shared by the masses, even though it consists only of their Soundcloud rapper friends and Post Malone hits from four years ago.
3. The Bartender.
Have you ever tried gasoline? Maybe lighter fluid? You’ll get your first taste once you take one sip of this personality type's “famous” Jungle Juice.
Sure, the goal of college parties is to drink a lot… I mean a lot. But you would probably prefer to have a drink that is palatable, at best. The Bartender personality type qualifies a great drink as one that contains a shot of every liquor available and a splash of cranberry juice.
My expert advice? Stick to the 12-pack of spiked seltzers you grabbed from CVS on the way to the party.
4. The Anti-Social Social Butterfly.
Do you have that friend that is completely offended if they aren’t invited to something, but never really look like they are having a good time just as the night starts to ramp up? The Anti-Social Social Butterfly personality type takes the prize for the longest 10-yard stare into her red Solo cup. You never have to wonder if she’s run off in a drunken haze because she is exclusively glued to the corner of the room.
“Are you sure you don’t want to head home?” you gesture in an effort to maintain her sanity. And every time she says, “Nah, I’m fine.” Let her live her truth. She’ll be grateful that she stayed when she’s in her 30s and reminiscing of the glory days.
5. The One Who Falls Asleep First.
The clock strikes 10:30 P.M. Pregame parties are ending and people start to stroll up to the main event. One minute you see your bestie pouring herself a drink. “Go off!” you think to yourself as she starts swaying with that cute boy from her lecture class. You’ve of course broken the seal, so you head over to the bathroom. Come back to the living room, and there she is, completely snoozing while everyone rages around her.
The One That Falls Asleep First at the party personality type is arguably the best buddy to have at a party… you’ll always have a designated driver when she’s around!
Madison Kerth is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture and relationship topics.