Here Are Each Of The Zodiac Signs' Favorite Things
It's the one thing that brings them true joy.
getty "When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad... I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad." Listening to those old lyrics really makes me think people had it pretty good back then, and though a dog bite can wreak havoc, the question remains: can thinking of one's favorite things alleviate the existential pain of a dog bite?
Perhaps, yes. Perhaps, it's all in the mind and, in the long run, thinking positive, happy thoughts manifests as a happier, more positive life. And once we throw astrology into the mix, it becomes clear that the zodiac signs' favorite things all depends on what brings them true joy.
We spend a lifetime developing our personal repertoire of "things" that make our minds happy. Being that these "things" are private and our very own, we can basically keep anything at all to use to jog us back into our happy place. And while we all have many go-to favorite things, there are always the old reliables.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
Knick-knacks and power talisman. Aries, you're a bit of a magician, and you enjoy holding on to crystals, knives, and wands. You feel you can draw power from inanimate objects, and your favorite things are little knick-knacks acquired all over the world. You love red beads and good luck coins.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
You have a yearning for the past and childhood memories. Your favorite thing is a good memory, something cradled in your mind rather than in your hand. When times are hard, you walk down memory lane where you cheer yourself up in solitude.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
Your favorite things are your pets, and good for you for that. What makes you upset is human life, so when you turn to your cat for emotional release and comfort, you get it right from the source.
They love you in return. Stay home, Gemini — it's where your favorite thing is. Meow.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
Your favorite thing is a photo, and depending on who you are, that photo could either be of a person in a completely pornographic pose, or a photo of your parakeet. The parakeet crowd is, however, in the minority, as most of you Cancers simply get lost in risqué content.
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
You love the collections of movie props and autographs that show you were there. You met the stars, you took the tours, and you know more than we do about whatever it is you're collecting props for. You love flashy things, vintage posters, and antiques.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
Your favorite things are the things you choose to define yourself with. If you want to be seen as rich, you wear expensive clothes. If you want to be seen as religious, you rant and rail for your religion.
Your favorite thing is whatever is it you can show off to prove whatever you're into, to someone who isn't into what you're into.
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
You like to tell others that you're into art and the arts, but what you're really into is porn, porn and more porn. You just don't like anything other than naked people.
If you could walk around naked in the streets with a nonstop loop of PornHub in your mind, you'd consider that to be a top favorite thing.
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
Your favorite thing is getting away with it. Just... it. Whatever it is, if you can do it and have no one say anything about it to you, then you've scored the Silver Scorpion award. Hit and runs are your thing.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
Well, between you and me, there's already too many people here for your taste, and that is because your favorite thing is to be alone. You'll tell us all you're involved and want to be with us, but the truth is, you're always one molecule away from doing your favorite thing, which is to ditch all humankind and spend quality time alone.
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
It's easy to please you. Your favorite thing is getting things done on time and on goal. And you make sure things always run smoothly because you're also a control freak that won't let it go awry. Integrity is your favorite thing.
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
Like Scorpio, you enjoy the sneaky little pleasures of not getting caught doing something naughty. You're a very deceptive person, Aquarius, but you don't want people to think that of you, so you work under cover of night, in the trenches, when no one is looking.
PISCES (February 19 - March 10)
Your favorite thing is having everyone you know come over to give you food, compliments, money and... compliments. You don't want to work — that's the problem — so you find ways to have others do the work for you. Your favorite thing in the world to do? Nothing.
Ruby Miranda is a New Yorker who learned astrology, I Ching and all types of cartomancy and numerology from her crazy, gypsy mother. She currently writes for a wide range of esoteric publications.