Your Surprising Sexual Insecurity, Based On Your Zodiac Sign
The stars think you've got some issues.
weheartit Sex insecurities — we all have them. No matter how enjoyable and healthy sex is, there are still things that make us feel uncomfortable about.
Most everybody thinks that they’re fantastic at sex — geniuses, really — but being a truly sexual person who enjoys giving and receiving pleasure doesn't mean that there aren’t some things you’d really rather not do or that you don’t do very well. There are things that you don’t feel good about doing, even if your horoscope says you're a master at it.
Watch the video below for advice on how to overcome your insecurities in the bedroom:
We’ve got issues, things that we need to work on, things that we have to look closer at and examine why they trigger feelings of anger, hurt, and failure. If we have something buried down deep that we don’t want to deal with, the intimacy of sex can bring it up, even if the person we’re having sex with isn’t someone we’d normally share something with.
The physical body is so entwined with the emotional body that they affect each other even when we’re unaware of it. This is why good sex can still lead to tears or laughter.
Sex can be a release and can force us to be honest with ourselves. Our muscles have memories; they hold on to things even when we want to forget them and when a muscle is stretched in a certain way, then the memory is set free.
Sometimes we close ourselves off to trying new things because we’re secretly scared of what our reaction might be or that we may suck at it. If we experiment, we wonder, will we never be able to enjoy the basic elements of sex? Or, if we use a vibrator, will we never achieve orgasm only with our hands?
The more we get in our heads, the more insecurity can build. You've got your sexual insecurities, struggles, and habits. And here’s what the zodiac signs have to say about yours.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
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You worry that if you don't always keep things moving and changing with sex that you or your partner will get bored. Sex doesn't have to be a three-ring-circus; sometimes it's okay to take the frenetic energy down a notch. If you aren't having a quickie, it's okay to sometimes take your time with sex and focus on the foreplay or the cuddling or what you're feeling with every touch.
Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aries, As Written By One
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
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You tend to like to stick with what you know because you get worried that if your partner tries some new position or uses a sex toy that you're unfamiliar with, you won't know what to do — or even worse, you'll do it wrong. You don't have to take sex so seriously; it's not an Olympic sport. If you mess up, just laugh it off. Sometimes it's the mistakes that can lead to some creative ideas. Maybe you didn't use the sex toy in the way it was intended but you still came up with a fun way to work it into your sex play.
Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Taurus, As Written By One
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
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You get nervous that while you can talk the talk, you can't walk the walk, at least where sex is concerned. You can dirty talk like no one else and your phone sex is amazing but sometimes you get so caught up in your head that you worry that you won't be any good when it comes to having sex in real life. Stop worrying! If you didn't have the lust and imagination for talking about sex, you wouldn't be able to talk about it. You need to trust in your abilities and just do it.
Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving A Gemini, As Written By One
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
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Since your ex-lovers are still very much a part of your consciousness, you get insecure when you think that your current partner is comparing you to their past lovers and that you won't measure up. It's not a sex competition. Your partner is with you because that's who they want to be with and they're probably much more focused on your body and touching you than comparing and contrasting to people that they've had sex with in the past. Let go of all the exes and just focus in on your partner and what the two of you are doing to each other.
Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Cancer, As Written By One
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
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If your partner isn't constantly complimenting and praising you every step of your sexual encounter, you get insecure. Remember, if they're fully focused on you and giving you pleasure, they may not be able to reassure you. Tap into that inner-strength and confidence that Leos are known for and just have faith that they are having the time of their life and that having sex with you is the only thing on their mind.
Read: 6 Brutal Truths About Loving A Leo, As Written By One
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
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Feeling shy about being naked in front of somebody is one of your sexual insecurities, so try to see how beautiful you are through their eyes. You tend to be a perfectionist which can lead to you being self-critical. Having sex with someone and indulging in sexual pleasures isn't the time to be focusing on the parts of your body that you think are flawed or imperfect. Also, since you tend to be a research hound, don't try to mimic the moves that you saw that porn star do, just do what feels good to you.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Virgo (As Written By A Virgo)
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
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You get insecure that you're not doing enough for your partner and then end up forgetting about your own enjoyment. Sex isn't only about giving, it's about receiving too. You need to believe that fulfilling your desires is just as important as making sure your partner is satisfied. Stop worrying how you'll come off if you actually ask for what you want. They won't get mad if you tell them that you want them to do more of something and less of something else. Chances are they're just as desperate to satisfy you as you are to please them.
Read: 11 Brutal Truths About Loving A Libra, As Written By One
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
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You're very sexually confident but you do sometimes worry that you're too much for your partner — too intense, too passionate, and occasionally too rough. When you listen not only with your ears but with your body, you'll pick up on whatever your partner is saying with their body. You do what you like, with consideration for them. You can gauge when you need to pull back a little on the intensity and when you need to turn up the volume. You know why you're considered the hottest sign of the zodiac: it's that sexual intensity.
Read: 14 Brutal Truths About Loving A Scorpio, As Written By One
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
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You get worried sometimes that you're so good that your hookups and no-strings-attached friends won't be satisfied with a purely for sex relationship. If you're honest about your intentions, there shouldn't be a problem. Your ego is creating drama where there probably isn't any. If you're with a consenting adult and made it clear that you're only interested in having sex, then they won't get any mistaken ideas about commitment. Now, if they've been honest with you about wanting a relationship and you choose not to pay attention to what they've said, that's purely on you.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Sagittarius, As Written By One
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
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You are surprisingly wild in bed but you don't always feel comfortable enough to let your freaky side come out, even when you're with a long-time partner. As long as no one gets hurt (without their consent) then it's okay to truly express your sexual side. If you want to role play, use toys, or anything your sexually experimental mind comes up with, then go for it. If you're having fun, your partner is probably having fun and if they're not as free as you are, you can come to a compromise together.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Capricorn, As Written By One
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
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Chances are that sometimes you feel rather inexperienced when it comes to sex. You probably haven't had a ton of partners and you worry that you're not adventurous enough for your partner. This seems to be contradictory to your innovative and inventive self. You need to loosen up and stop critiquing yourself. You've got everything you need to be incredible at sex, you just need to trust in your abilities and your innate sexual prowess. You don't have to reinvent the wheel, just enjoy using your body and burning off some sexual energy.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aquarius, As Written By One
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
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It's hard for you to say no and that can get you into unhealthy situations. You're all about giving people second chances, even partners where the sex wasn't that great. You don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so you sleep with almost anyone who asks you. You can be a lot more discerning. Sex shouldn't be an act of charity. If you're not attracted to someone, don't have sex with them. You can be completely selfish when it comes to who you want to be with and who you don't. It's okay to not be your usual selfless self; sometimes it's actually empowering to just say no.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Pisces, As Written By One
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Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and teacher who loves writing and performing personal narratives. She's had pieces in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Woman's Day, Purple Clover, Bustle, and is a regular contributor to Ravishly and YourTango. Check out her website or her Facebook page.