What Would You Say To Your Ex's New Partner If You Had The Chance?

Before I got married, I had my share of boyfriends. I wasn’t exactly the “IT” girl or anything but I somehow found a slew of men that I tricked into liking me. Some were good guys but … meh. Others were, well, not so good guys.

And I’m going to admit something that I don’t often tell anybody, so keep this between us, OK?

I Facebook stalk my exes.

I know. I’m eye rolling myself too. I’m in a happy marriage so why would I do that? 

Because I’m nosey, for one. But also because I LOVE “meeting” their new partners and seeing if there are any parallels to our old relationship.

For instance, there’s one guy that I didn’t have a full-fledged relationship with, but it got pretty close to it. He’s now married (congrats, boo) and I see that his rage (not the scary rage where you have to have 911 on speed dial for but the kind you can’t help but laugh at) is still in full swing.

My favorite one to look back on has his profile public, for all to consume. Bonus: So does his wife! JACKPOT!

I’ve found comments on pictures and memes that make me laugh, yet also slightly nauseate me because they bring me right back to our relationship.

If I had the opportunity to speak to his wife and give her tips … gosh, I’d be there all day. I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but this guy was just a cliche.cliche.

Here are three pieces of relationship advice I’d love to give her:

1. Don’t forget your wallet when you go out to eat with him because sadly, he never has money on him at the most opportune times!

2. I hope you love Harry Potter. I don’t mean, “Oh, the movies were so good!” I mean you need to have an encyclopedic knowledge of every character, location, and patronus if you want to make this work.

3. Lastly, and most importantly, don’t take his words to heart. You are probably a good person and sometimes he can be condescending in his tone. Give it right back to him. He deserves it.

YourTango asked the people of Facebook to share the advice they would have for their ex's new squeeze.

Here are 13 of the BEST responses we received: