Guys, You Can Now Get A Bigger Penis During Your Lunch Break

But this isn't for the squeamish.

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Alas, we can rid men of their everlasting and untreated penile envy! 

Yep. A New York plastic surgeon, Norman Rowe, has developed a technique that he refers to as the "bulge buster" that enlarges the penis in a non-surgical procedure.

And, truthfully this the victory that men have longed for. Because in the same way that we dress for other women, men want a big dick for the swinging contests that go down in the locker room.

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But, as women, we know more than anybody that the biggest penis can be a bust in the same way that a small one can — and that probably makes for a far more disappointment experience considering it did have more girth to work with — yet it still didn't meet our standard.

So, again, I reiterate this is a win for men, no matter what guys may try to tell us.

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Dr. Rowe says he was motivated by the cosmetic work women get done with fillers (read: "quick fixes") such as Botox.

And, he's found away to "make it work for men" too, just as he'd hoped.

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According to Cosmopolitan, the procedure can help men gain up to 1.5 inches in girth (or circumference if you're fancy).

Here's how it works: Blood is drawn from the patient and transferred it to the penis. More specifically, platelets are removed and the "plasma-rich blood" is re-injected. 

As for the hard-hitting question: How long will his member be on "man down" mode?

Well, Dr. Rowe told the Daily Mail that while he could go back to getting erect right after the procedure but recommends two days before engaging in sexual intercourse.

The best news is that this is an outpatient thing — that can be done in about 20 minutes — more than the average length of time for a round of sex and less than the time you take on a lunch break. 

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What better way to spice things up on a Monday than going out and getting yourself a bigger dick during your lunch break?

I can't think of one, how about you?