10 Ways To Exude Confidence When You're Introverted AF

You’re standing on the sidelines of a party, just observing what’s happening, and not feeling a huge need to say something random just to fill up the silence around you. Your friends came with you, but they seem to be way cooler with socializing with a dozen strangers than you do.

You smile and chuckle at the jokes so you don’t appear cold and still feel involved … but ultimately you feel awkward. A fish out of water, so to speak. Even when you manage to start a conversation of small talk, it falls flat and leads to nothing.

Why, yes, the weather was kind of chilly today. I didn’t expect to need a coat!

Yeah, me neither!

... Weather is interesting …

... Yeah… (but not worthwhile enough to hold a casual conversation on)

Just about every introvert has been there, willingly or not. You might feel like you didn’t quite fit in, or wouldn’t if you tried. You might have been afraid to speak up the entire time in fear of saying something dumb or getting caught in another lame conversation about the wonderful world of weather.

And, like every other human, your confidence might not be in tip-top-shape.

Here are a few confidence tips for introverts tips that will help, no excessive external validation required.

1. Fake it till you make it.

It may sound pretentious, but it’s true. Studies have shown that applying this method will actually greatly improve your chances of not only appearing more confident, but actually being more confident.

2. Stick close to your friends.

You don’t take friendship lightly — you likely have a handful of excellent friends who you feel the most comfortable with. Being comfortable is a key ingredient of confidence. Hang out with your friends — not any of the toxic ones — privately and publicly, and just feel the love! They’ll keep you reminded of how awesome you are and how confident you ought to be.

3. Require your alone time.

You can’t expect to exude confidence if you’re drained from non-stop socializing for the past two days. Take time to yourself (the way you like it). Spend time alone and just relax, be that with a movie, a good book, a bath, a nap, or a refreshing workout, you have to make sure you feel at peace in your own skin.

On top of that, you really shouldn’t push yourself into being someone you’re not. If you’re an introvert, let it be! Don’t feel bad about it!

4. Make that alone time count

To build off of the previous tip, zoning out and watching Netflix may seem to be the most relaxing — but introverts looking to build confidence should consider what will not only be the most relaxing, also the most beneficial. Take some time to be at peace and relax to reduce those pent up stress levels. Get some fresh air, and do something that doesn’t simply require little energy, but something that helps you get your head in the right place.

5. Dress the part of your best self.

Often times, our confidence can be linked to how we view and present ourselves. Dress the way you imagine you would if you were the confident introvert you wanted to be. It doesn’t have to be flashy, but something that makes you look in the mirror and say: yup. This is how I want to present myself.

5. Cut the comparisons.

We’ve all heard this a million times — STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS!!!

Easier said, than done, right? It’d definitely not something you can just turn off whenever you want. It has to be an active and conscious effort. Turn the thoughts of: she is so much cooler than me. She’s dressed so cool! It makes me look like a twerp in comparison.

To:

She’s a really cool person. And I love her style! Adding that to my inspiration Pinterest board for sure!

If you’re going to compare yourself in any way, don’t let it be to bring yourself down — let it bring you up. Use your super-slick introvert detective skills to observe them and figure out what you like about them and why. What are they doing? Could you do it if you tried? OR if you’re feeling brave and willing, go over and talk to them yourself!

At the very least some of that coolness can rub off on you! From there, let your admiration lead the way.

6. Go play! 

Go play, be active. Fine, you can call it working out … but that doesn’t sound as fun! Do something active that makes you feel like the world is smiling at you. Something that’s really fun. Activities such as dancing, biking, running, and everything in between have been shown to raise dopamine (the happy little brain chemical that perks you up and makes you feel invincible. Not to mention … we really need to have more excuses to have fun, don’t you think?

7. Do what you’re good at

Everyone is good at something. Or, if you don’t believe that about yourself, do what you’re okay at. Make those mind-blowing brownies you baked for last year’s family picnic, draw, write, whatever! Anything and everything that you’re good at — do it. That repetitive practice of doing what you’re good at will be a good reminder for introverts wanting more confidence that you’ve got some stuff to hold your head high for!

8. Seek it out

Confidence comes from within — but inspiration comes from what’s around you (well, most of the time). Sometimes all it takes is one good quote, or even a random sight to give us epiphanies about ourselves and what we should do. Find positive, uplifting quotes, YouTube videos, you name it. Something just needs to click. Find some potential clickers!

9. Try something new.

If none of the things you’ve been doing all of your life have helped improve your self esteem … it’s probably time to try something a little outside of your comfort zone. You’ll likely surprise yourself.

10. Spread the confidence.

Bringing others up will bring you up. You’ll not only make someone else feel good, but doing that in turn makes you feel good. And that will pay off. If you’re kind and supportive to others, they will be kind and supportive to you. What better confidence builder is there than ongoing support?