The Elusive Quality That Makes A Man Commit In A Relationship — According To 10 Honest Men
What is the secret thing that will make a guy commit?
Helgy | Canva A guy friend of mine said that assuming men are afraid of commitment is very sexist. It's very difficult to generalize men without knowing what stage they are in their lives. Men and women both want to love and be loved.
It's important to know where men (and women) are in their lives, and if they even want a relationship. If you do, are you dating someone who also wants the same kind of relationship, or are you just molding yourself too much to fit his/her life?
What is the secret thing that will make a guy commit? According to one University of Utah study, men may be more likely to commit when women are harder to find because they become more valuable resources.
Relationships take work, but they shouldn't make you feel like it takes too much effort. That's one of the reasons it's very hard to commit— fundamentally, because you just don't want to. However, there are signs that a man will eventually commit and particular traits they look for.
Here are the elusive qualities that make a man commit, according to 10 honest men:
1. Attraction
"I will only commit if she's the hottest girl in the world, aside from Olivia Munn." —Mario, 29
As much as we'd like to say looks don't matter, they do. Research tells us that it's the number one thing men and women look for in a partner.
2. A strong connection
"Mutual connection matters the most. The minute you find it, you run towards it. When you aren't 100 percent sure, you just drift apart." —Amad, 28
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3. An authentic personality
"I want a genuine girl. In the end, all that matters is what is real." —Brian, 25
4. Compatibility
"Intellectual compatibility and physical compatibility are important. One without the other doesn't work." —Stan, 32
5. Maintaining an air of mystery
"I always fall for the ones who are hard to get. I like the chase! I feel I'm ready to commit when I first meet a spontaneous girl, but once I know her, it fades." —Michael, 30
6. Comfort
"The kind of woman I would commit to would be someone I'm completely comfortable with, regarding our physical, psychological, and intimate compatibility. I should be able to talk to her about anything." —Jon, 45
7. Good morals
"It's hard to say one, but I admire values consisting of dignity, loyalty, honesty, and trust. That's not a lot to ask for, is it?" —Jamal, 25
8. The right timing
"Timing is the most important thing. If I'm looking for a committed relationship, it's easier, because when I was younger, I met some amazing women who I could see myself committing to now, but then, I wanted to have fun." —Tate, 30
9. Enough time together
"It took me over five years to realize that I had been in love with my best friend, but I never really thought about us hooking up.
"I should have known because I always fought with her when she met a new dude at the bar or started seeing someone, who always ended up being jerks. I'm always protective of her. I love her and respect her. She has been the only constant in my life that's always changing." —Matt, 30
10. Freedom to have other interests
"I can commit to a girl if she doesn't make me change my lifestyle. I want to hang with my boys and go to sports games, bars, or strip clubs without a tight leash around my neck. A man needs his freedom." —Calvin, 23
Anjana Rajbhandary is a certified mental health professional, researcher, and self-directed writer/editor with over six years of experience in mental health, editorials, and non-profits.