17 Kissing Stories That'll Make You Die Of Secondhand Embarrassment
*cringe*
It's true, guys: movies have officially failed us. Well, the romance ones, at least.
We all know that big moment in a romantic movie when the two main characters FINALLY lean in and share a kiss. And, BAM it's like magic! The kiss looks so perfect and the characters always seem to know what they're doing, every single time. They never miss or lean back after the kiss is finished and say,"Wow! You're a really bad kisser!"
The harsh, cold reality is kissing isn't always like this in real life. Kissing isn't always perfect, sometimes it can be just fair and sometimes — let's be honest — they're just plain bad... even when it's from the person you thought was your dream guy or girl. And, occasionally, kisses are downright embarrassing.
We all experience that one time where the kiss just doesn't land (sometimes literally) at least once in our lives. It can be absolutely mortifying, but often turns into a funny story after a significant amount of time has passed. Of course, there's the chance it could be so embarrassing that we'd rather just keep it locked up in a far, far corner in the very back of our minds.
To show you that you're definitely not alone and we've all been there, here are some kissing story fails that are sure to make you turn bright red.
1. You worked up the courage to go for it, but . . .
"I tried to kiss him to say goodbye but he gave me a high five instead."
2. Kissing fails happen to couples, too.
"I coughed in my boyfriends mouth once while we were kissing OMG."
3. Sometimes, it's just plain awkward.
"Once when I was making out with my boyfriend I opened my eyes only to see him staring back at me."
4. When you think you can get away with kissing someone else . . .
"My best friend's boyfriend tried to kiss me and I spit in his face."
5. When a make out session gives you the opposite reaction of what it should give you . . .
"I cried while making out with a guy because he was so terrible at kissing and I couldn't take it."
6. When it's so bad you have to delete them from your call list.
"This guy sucked my face off trying to kiss me and it was really weird and uncomfortable. I never spoke to him after that."
7. Um, you missed . . .
"One time a guy went to kiss me, missed, and ended up licking the inside of my nostril."
8. When it becomes more horror than romance . . .
"A guy went to kiss me and we bashed teeth, then my mouth started bleeding and he ended up swallowing some of my blood because we kept kissing."
9. When they have absolutely NO idea what they're doing . . .
"I kissed a guy who just sat there stupidly with his tongue in my mouth not even moving …"
10. French kissing sounds more romantic than it is.
"Whenever I kiss my boyfriend with tongue it feels like a slug has invaded my mouth to try to find his family behind my tonsils."
11. When it's painfully embarrassing, but you handle it like a boss.
"One time when a guy tried to kiss me I splattered blood all over his face from a bad nose bleed … I just laughed and walked away."
12. When you have to resort to using the oldest trick in the book . . .
"One time I farted when I was kissing my boyfriend, and blamed it on his dog."
13. First kisses aren't always the dream you imagined them to be.
"The first time I kissed a guy it wasn't really a kiss because he sucked all around my lips to the point where I had to use my sleeve to wipe the drool. Disgusting."
14. And sometimes they can seem more like a nightmare.
"During my first kiss, my boyfriend cut his tongue on my braces and it wouldn't stop bleeding."
15. First kisses can make us say things we didn't mean to.
"I was so nervous during my first kiss I blurted out "I'm sorry I suck at kissing."
16. We're convinced—first kisses are the worst.
"My first kiss was so awkward… his mouth covered mine and he literally "sucked" and left a red ring around my lips."
17. Actually, drunk kisses might be even more horrible.
"I was so drunk one time I thought my boyfriend was my dad, so when he tried to kiss me things got awkward."