The Sneaky Way I Proved My Husband Was A Lying Cheater
I was on a mission. I didn't give up until I found what I needed.
Getty It wasn't too long after my husband returned from his deployment that I knew something was wrong. He wouldn't look me in the eye. When we had sex, he wasn't himself. I thought it was because his grandfather was dying, so I didn't think much about it.
But as the days went on, more and more odd behaviors came forward, and I started to wonder if there was something else going on that was making him act so weird. It wasn't until I tried to use his phone as a flashlight and he jumped a mile out of bed that I knew something was very, very wrong.
The following are the steps I took to reveal my husband was a a lying cheater.
1. First, I watched him carefully.
Watching his behavior revealed the first signs he was cheating. He always had his phone in his hands and would never leave it by itself unless he was sitting right next to it. Even in the middle of the night I tried to take it and he jumped out of bed wanting to know why I wanted his phone.
2. I checked his cell phone records.
Once I knew something had to be going on, I logged into our Verizon account. Sure enough, one number came up hundreds of times for calls and text messages. I had no idea who it was, so that led me to do the next thing to catch him.
3. I Googled the phone number I found.
As soon as I Googled the phone number, a girl's Facebook page came up. I was blinded; I couldn't believe it. At first, I tried to convince myself she was really a guy since her name could be both female or male. However, just by clicking on her Facebook, I was sure she was a woman, and she was about 10 years younger.
4. I looked for concrete evidence.
My husband swore up and down and all around he never did anything with her. He said they just related because she had been through the same situation as him (his grandfather who raised him was dying).
No matter how many times I brought up how weird he was acting, he would deny that anything was going on. While I had the number and connection, I didn't have solid proof he was doing anything wrong. I needed something concrete, but I had to wait for the right opportunity.
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5. I followed him.
It was time to get sneaky. I contemplated following him to where he would go when he said he had to do something all of a sudden. With two kids and nobody to look after them, that wasn't feasible.
It was only when I was living with his grandmother (while the house we were getting ready to purchase was in the process of closing,) that I found an opportunity to prove all of it. He was in another state by himself (or at least he should have been). I had a gut instinct and left his grandmother's house early in the morning. After 14 hours of driving, I reached the hotel he was staying at (supposedly by himself).
He wasn't there, and when the receptionist called him for permission to let me in the room, he said no. He told her not to let me in there. I pleaded with the receptionist until she gave in and gave me the key.
I walked in with my two kids following behind me, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Her bag was there, his clothes were there, and both of their clothes were on the floor. It was THEIR room. To this day, I wish I had taken pictures but I didn't. I was too much in shock. But I had the proof I needed.
After finding the hotel room and seeing them together, it still wasn't enough; there had to be more to set it all in stone. It wasn't needed, but it was like an avalanche that I let come on top of me.
I took his phone from him when he said he was no longer going to contact her. I found a username and password for a Yahoo account. I logged in, and there it was: 4,000+ emails from them confessing their undying love for one another.
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Now, that was the proof. All of the proof.
This all took about five months to do. Patience is key. As hard as that is, patience will give you the proof you need. Life will be crazy until you have what you need, but it all sets you up to experience reality.
Do what you have to do to prove what you know — not only to show him that you know for certain, but so you know for sure, too. You have the strength — it's hidden inside of you where that anger and hurt is right now. Don't let him blow you over. You've got this. Now find the proof.