The 25 Best Pieces Of Marriage Advice Genuinely Happy Couples Follow
Even the happiest couple can learn from this simple but sage marriage advice.
Elizaveta Starkova via Shutterstock / KT Nielsen and cglade via Canva When Ashley and I got married thirteen years ago, we were young and in love — but we were also pretty clueless (me especially)! Along the way, we've had so many people share their best marriage advice and life experiences with us, which has helped guide our family through good times and hard times.
Through the years, I've collected some of the best tips others have shared with us (and some I had to learn through my own mistakes).
Applying this list of 25 principles to your relationship could make a life-changing difference in your marriage.
25 best pieces of marriage advice genuinely happy couples follow
1. Choose to love each other.
Even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.
2. Always answer the phone when your husband or wife is calling.
When possible, try to keep your phone off when you're together with your spouse to avoid "phubbing," or paying more attention to your phone than your spouse, which research shows decreases overall marital satisfaction.
3. Make time together a priority.
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Budget for a consistent date night or designate time each week to spend simply enjoying each other's company. Time is the "currency of relationships," so consistently invest time into your marriage.
4. Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage.
Remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.
5. Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage.
A 2015 study found that the more time a couple spends laughing, the better their relationship is.
So share moments of joy. And even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.
6. Know that in every argument, remember there won't be a "winner" and a "loser."
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You're partners in everything so you'll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution.
7. Realize a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time.
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It's usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.
8. Prioritize what happens in the bedroom.
It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but research shows it's nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it.
As for exactly how much sex experts suggest couples should have varies, and ultimately, each couple will be different. Additionally, in a TikTok video, relationship coach Katie Henricks noted that the most important aspect of this is just to be physically intimate.
"It's very important to schedule intentional, conscious time to connect in that way," Henrick said. "Don't put your sex life on autopilot."
9. Remember marriage isn't 50/50 — divorce is 50/50.
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Marriage has to be 100/100. It's not about splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they've got.
10. Give your best to each other.
According to relationship expert Eric Williams, your spouse should always be your first priority — not just your leftovers after you've given your best to everyone else.
While it may not always be possible to give your all to your marriage, resentment is less likely to grow if you, at the very least, give your best.
11. Learn from other people, but don't try to be them.
There's no need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else's. God's plan for your life is masterfully unique.
12. Don't put your marriage on hold while you're raising your kids.
Doing so not only maintains a strong foundation for your relationship but also models healthy relationship behaviors for your children.
On the other hand, if you do put your marriage on hold, you'll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.
13. Never keep secrets from your spouse.
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This is some of the best marriage advice I can give you. Because secrecy is the enemy of intimacy.
14. Never lie to each other.
Lies break trust, and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage.
15. When you've made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness.
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Know how to apologize, and do it. You should be quick to say, "I was wrong. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."
16. When your husband or wife breaks your trust, give them your forgiveness instantly.
This will promote healing and create the opportunity for trust to be rebuilt. You should be quick to say, "I love you. I forgive you. Let's move forward."
17. Be patient with each other.
Your spouse is always more important than your schedule.
18. Model the kind of marriage you would want for your children.
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Be the kind of spouse that will make your sons want to grow up to be good husbands and your daughters want to grow up to be good wives.
19. Be your spouse's biggest fan, rather than their biggest critic.
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The importance of supporting your partner, whether emotional support or general positivity and enthusiasm for what they do, can't be overstated. According to a 2021 study, when partners are there for each other during hard times, they create a better and stronger relationship.
Be the one who wipes away their tears, not the one who causes them.
20. Never talk badly about your spouse to other people or vent about them online.
"When you talk about your partner, who is the closest person to you, negatively, you are disrespecting not only them, but also yourself and your relationship," former family lawyer & consultant Leticia Ringe said in a TikTok video.
Protect your spouse at all times and in all places. Instead of venting to friends or family, Ringe suggested discussing the things that upset you with a coach, therapist, or "someone who is trained to hold space for [you] to process [your] thoughts and feelings.
21. Always wear your wedding ring.
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It will remind you that you're always connected to your spouse and will remind the rest of the world that you're off-limits. If you don't want to wear your expensive wedding ring at all times, consider investing in a silicon band or other options that provide the same effect and save your valuable ring for special occasions.
22. Be yourself.
As you immerse yourself in the role of spouse, and eventually maybe parent, remember that you are an individual with goals, dreams, ambitions, hobbies, friends, and family.
"Marry yourself first," women's empowerment and transformational coach Deb Blum said in a TikTok video. "Make a commitment to be married to you and then secondarily married to whoever your partner is."
While being in a marriage means joining lives with someone else, remember not to lose who you are as a person, especially because that's exactly what attracted your partner to you in the first place.
23. Let your partner be themselves.
Just as you are your own person, so is your partner. Trust in the foundation if your connection and provide them the freedom to live their life outside of your marriage.
24. Say nothing rather than saying anything mean.
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When you have to choose between saying nothing or saying something mean to your spouse, say nothing every time. No really, every single time. Being mean gets you nowhere.
25. Never consider divorce as an option.
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While there are certain situations when a divorce may be your only option, “A spouse should never use the D-word during an argument unless this is a serious consideration and is not being said in anger. The reason why it is harmful is that it opens up the door for divorce to be on the table," Paul DePompo, PsyD, board-certified cognitive behavioral therapist and author, told VeryWell Mind.
Remember that a "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
A version of this article originally appeared on Stronger Marriages.
Dave Willis is a pastor, writer, podcaster, and one of the most popular bloggers in America with more than one hundred million page views and counting. He and his wife Ashley are speakers for MarriageToday and co-creators of multiple marriage-based books, events, and resources.