5 Divorce Lawyers Reveal Their Most Shocking Client Stories
Don't make these mistakes.
Supawadee56 / Shutterstock Everyone hopes their marriage will last forever. But sometimes, that's not the case, as evident by these divorce lawyer stories below.
Now, divorce happens for a lot of couples, and you're lucky if it ends with you not hating each other even more. Divorce should be something that can be easily discussed, with the mediation of a lawyer. The couple should be able to work everything out from the house to who gets the kids when.
You should be able to become friends so you can interact with each other in a hospitable manner and not fight, even though it may be breaking your heart. You should be there for your children if you have them, so any hostility should be something that you put aside.
But there is no need to dump all his stuff on the sidewalk to burn it or get into major disputes over who gets the dining table or the bedroom set. There is no need to be petty.
Divorce lawyers see it and hear it all. They are the unsung heroes of the divorce court, and they have some crazy tales to go along with their experience.
5 divorce lawyers reveal their most shocking client stories:
What pushes a couple off the cliff? Here’s your chance to learn from these revealing accounts.
1. He said, 'You can't have five bucks.' She said, 'OK, then, you can't have me!'
Teri M. Nelson, a divorce attorney in Milwaukee, told us about a couple who had a major money beef. The guy put his wife on a strict budget. She adhered — until he told her that she couldn’t go out for ice cream, since they already had a carton in the freezer.
“I see this all the time. Instead of hashing out the larger issue — finances! — one party holds back until something seemingly minor pushes her over the edge,” Nelson said.
The message: If you’re not happy, say so at the moment before your pent-up anger escalates and some stupid little thing sets you off.
2. She told her girlfriend about his erectile dysfunction
When one husband realized his now-ex-wife had dished to her girls about his sex issues, “it was clear he felt humiliated,” said Erik Newton, an attorney in San Francisco who represented the wife.
Emasculating topics such as bedroom shortcomings or even a bad work review should be off-limits. They make him feel inadequate and that he can’t trust you, which is tough to recover from, added Jane Greer, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist, and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship.
Sure, we all love a good venting session, but let us remind you of a little game called telephone. You tell friends, “We’re having trouble in bed.” They hear, “He can’t get it up.” They pass along, “He’s probably on Viagra!” Not cool.
3. She raved about her male coworker
A client of Los Angeles–based divorce lawyer, Kelly Chang Rickert, revealed that his wife constantly compared him with a “wonderful” guy she worked with. Turned out he had reason to be mad (she was cheating), but the bigger picture is that “comparison shopping” can ruin even a faithful relationship.
“Couples essentially agree to be each other’s number-one fan, so overly praising someone else can make your partner feel diminished,” Greer said.
4. She refused a gift from his mom
Chang Rickert worked with a guy whose wife hated her in-laws so much, she turned down a Tiffany necklace from them. It made the husband realize that no matter how nice his parents tried to be, there wouldn’t be any getting along.
If your guy cares about his family and you reject them, it can drive a wedge between you, Greer said. Try to compromise, and if that fails, smile and nod.
5. She punished him in the bedroom... and not in a good way
Newton says couples often come to him during a sex drought.
“They’ve got tension as a result of other problems, and one party starts withholding sex” as a fight tactic, he said. That’s basically the sexual equivalent of the silent treatment.
And like staying mute, spitefully crossing your legs resolves nothing. Plus, you’re missing out on a healthy way to feel close. We’re not telling you to do it if you don’t feel like it but repeat after us: Sex is not a weapon.
Robin Hilmantel has more than a decade of experience in health and lifestyle reporting, writing, and editing. Her work has appeared in TIME, Food Network Magazine, Cosmopolitan, New York Magazine, Glamour, and more.