The Texting Style That Drives Women Absolutely Nuts (In A Bad Way)
Men: Just because you can text it, doesn't mean you should.
Bongkarngraphic | bongkarngraphic / bokan76 | Getty Images Pro I once dated a guy who had a thing for not just texting but emailing in nothing but acronyms and such absurd jargon that, as a writer, I'm surprised it lasted as long as it did — a whole month and a half. The last straw finally came one night when he sent me a text that said "C U L8R."
I stared at it for easily 10 minutes, completely clueless as to what the "L8R" part was supposed to translate to, but when it became clear, I knew it was time to say goodbye.
As someone who's pretty obsessive about people spelling out full words even in text messages, I wondered if I was alone. So, I asked the ladies their thoughts on dating a guy who uses text lingo, acronyms, texting emojis, and all that jazz in emails and texts.
Is it OK if he emails or texts you "C U L8R," or responds to funny things with "LOL," "ROFL," or the rest of that malarkey? Is it utter laziness, disrespectful to the English language, a horrible assault on all the senses, or totally okay? Here's what they had to say.
Men: If you text like this, women judge you hardcore:
1. LOL is fine, to an extent
"Other than 'LOL' here and there, I hate text lingo! Love emojis, though!" — Steph, 25
2. Make sure to use full sentences
"We have Qwerty keyboards now. If he can't text a sentence because he has an old-school flip phone, then I'm already suspicious — not sure I'd expect him to last long enough to worry about receiving a ‘UR cute, CU L8R’ message. He could send me a winking emoji, though. I'd think that was cute." — Jen, 36
3. Again, no LOL
"'LOL' contains the soul of brevity. It is childish." — Tracy, 37
No, never, no way, nope.
4. No abbreviations
"I hate it when anyone texts or emails in those stupid acronyms and abbreviations. I'm all for full sentences and proper punctuation, even in texts!" — Lauren, 33
"Men save time by using abbreviations. I use that time to judge them." — Jennifer, 27
5. Use good vocabulary
"While I embrace the fact that language is constantly evolving, I find eloquence and a good vocabulary hot. So, from a random person or friend, text lingo doesn't bother me. But if I were interested in someone, even 'LOL' would turn me off." — Tanya, 37
Then there are the exceptions, especially when it comes to emojis.
6. Some abbreviations are acceptable
"I can handle some abbreviations. Emoticons are fine and convey real stuff if used sparingly. LOL, IRL, FTR, IMHO are fine. 'C U L8R' would bug the ever-living life out of me. I have never dated someone who felt the need to severely abbreviate everything, so I’m not sure how I would handle it. I did, however, once stop following a former work buddy on Facebook because she seemed to ONLY speak in abbreviations here, of all places, where your characters aren't limited. I couldn't handle it." — Becky, 30
7. No text lingo here
"I'm not a fan of text lingo. It makes me think you're acting like a girly teenager. Texting emojis are okay when used thoughtfully (like when Tim Gunn on Project Runway says, 'Use the Aldo accessory wall thoughtfully!' Too many and you're an annoying pubescent teenybopper. On the other hand, texting with my husband, we have our own lingo and made-up words. This I'm cool with because it makes me laugh." — Jill, 31
8. It's fine, as long as it's not all the time
"It's totally fine to use emoji, abbreviations, and stuff if I know the guy can write well, and he's just choosing to do so just to save time or is being playful." — Mieko, 38
9. A good sticker works
"I kinda really hate certain ones, like 'LOL', but honestly, nothing conveys a message like a good sticker (speaking specifically here of Facebook messaging, obviously). When you want pizza for dinner and need to relate that quickly, he'll know exactly what it means when I send a Pusheen eating pizza sticker." — Sabrina, 27
Breaking news: This isn't Wheel of Fortune.
10. Use vowels
"My husband is not the best speller but he texts in complete sentences and uses full words. I cannot handle 'C U L8R' or 'HW R U?' This is not Wheel of Fortune! You do not have to buy vowels!" — Colleen, 30
Amanda Chatel is an essayist and intimacy health writer for Yourtango, Shape Magazine, Hello Giggles, Glamour, and Harper's Bazaar.