The 4 Best Apps To Stop You From Texting Your Ex
These apps aim to make it easier for you to make the 'No Contact Rule' work.
Trying to stop yourself from texting your ex is the first — and definitely worst — hurdle to overcome when trying to follow the "no contact rule."
If you haven't heard the term before, the no contact rule is when you cut off any and all forms of communication with your ex for at least 21 days following a breakup.
The rule is designed to help you either get over a breakup quicker than you would if you kept in touch with the person who broke your heart or to help you get them back if you are really meant to be.
"This means no seeing each other, no texting, no calling, no emailing, no liking posts on social media, no letters sent via carrier pigeon," says dating and relationship coach Clayton Olson.
How to Stop Yourself from Texting Someone
There are a few different things you can do to help you block yourself from texting someone.
One exercise is writing down on a piece of paper what you're really feeling inside. After your write down your feelings, shred or burn those pieces of paper, letting go of past feelings for an ex.
Another easy distraction is spending time with friends. Nothing can distract you more than having a genuinely good time with the people you love most. Get coffee or brunch together, go to the movies, or go out for a night at a karaoke bar.
Therapy can also help. Your therapist can give you specific tips on how to stop texting someone like your ex, and ways you can use this absence of texting to your advantage.
Of course, all of that is sometimes easier said than done, especially when your hand is twitching to pick up your phone and text your ex a quick "hey."
Sure, at first resisting the impulse may be tolerable. Your friends swoop in to surround you with comfort food and pep talks. But when you're sitting there alone in your room late at night, that first hour of silence can be stifling.
So you pick up your phone for some innocent late-night social media stalking, and after just one glimpse, you're DMing them, and now they're back in your life (cue the unwanted flood of bittersweet memories). Ugh.
Luckily, there are apps to stop you from texting someone.
It's easy to give in to temptation and text or call your ex, which soon leads to finding yourself begging him to come back. But there are apps designed with the specifc purposing of helping you not do that, even on big days like their birthday.
These are the 4 best apps (plus a bonus tech hack) to help you stop texting your ex and follow the no-contact rule instead.
1. Drunk Mode Keyboard
Photo: Apple App Store Preview
Drunk Mode Keyboard takes over for you on nights when five gin martinis take precedence over dinner.
This app replaces your QWERTY keyboard with art, or has different settings like translating your set language to something foreign, so you will absolutely not know what you're even trying to say! If anything, you'll probably get distracted by it and then not try to text your ex!
It's the perfect "stay away from your ex app."
What the developers say: "It's really simple. Beforehand put drunk mode on and select how long you will you want drunk mode enabled. Drunk mode will be on for the duration you choose. This can help to prevent you from sending messages you really wouldn't send if you were not drunk."
Customer review: "I honestly wish this app worked better than it did. Despite claiming to block the keyboard, there’s a number of easy ways to send a text message while in 'drunk mode,' including using the app’s own 'send my location' feature."
Whomp whomp. But at least the responsive developers replied to say they appreciate the feedback.
2. No Contact Rule
Photo: Apple App Store Preview
While the No Contact Rule app doesn't technically stop you from calling or texting your ex, it does offer you short but sweet reminders of why you should stop yourself.
What the developers say: "If you are trying to get over an ex and implementing the 'No Contact Rule' this stop texting ex app is for you. Whenever you need to strength to get through the day or moment, look at this app and it will help remind you why you are doing it. No phone calls, no emails, no social media. You deserve better."
Customer review: "I don’t usually pay for apps but I decided to give this a try. Sometimes I’ll have my Instagram open just seconds away from checking on my ex. It’ll be late night when I miss them, and my selfish wants convincing me to press on their profile... I always press Home, click this app and then go through the reminders. They really help give me lots of relief where previously I was just anxious over what my ex might be doing. The reminders and affirmations are exactly what I need to help me put the phone down, save me so much grief and humiliation."
3. Drunk Dial NO!
Photo: Apple App Store Preview
Drunk Dial No! ingeniously hides as many phone numbers as you want for up to 48 hours at a time, and can help you learn how to stop texting someone who ignores you when you most likely drunk text them.
You can also block incoming calls or messages from your ex during a time you know you'll be especially vulnerable to their messages. And you can even schedule messages to be sent to yourself reminding you what you're not supposed to be doing!
What the developers say: "We all have a few contacts in our iPhone for people we really should not phone or email at 1 am on a Friday night (your ex-girl/boyfriend, your mother(!) or your boss). With Drunk Dial NO! you can leave your house at 8 pm on a Friday night, hide those contacts for 12 hours and stop yourself waking up on Saturday morning thinking... 'Oh dear! oh my! I didn't, did I??!'"
Customer review: Unfortunately, this one only gets one star, with most users saying it's pretty buggy. On the plus side, it appears to have been updated recently, so here's hoping it's now working better.
4. Focus Lock
While the Focus Lock app may not be geared specifically toward learning how to stop texting him obsessively, and preventing the two of you from contacting one another, it will do the trick in those times when you need a little help fighting the urge.
Focus Lock allows you to hide all but your default iOS apps from your phone for a period of time you choose, i.e., until you're feeling more in your right mind.
What the developers say: "With Focus Lock, hide all of your downloaded apps for a time that you select, and your apps will return to your phone screen (like magic!) when the time is done. Whether it’s to study, focus, work, read, sleep, or take a social media detox, Focus Lock will make sure that you can’t open your apps and get distracted."
Customer review: "I’m a last year medical intern preparing myself for the Residency exam which needs constant attention and long hours of studying. Before using focus lock I had trouble staying focused and I constantly found myself reaching for my phone and using social media or games. I had used many other apps for this purpose but since none of them was as strict as focus lock I didn’t have much improvement. Focus lock really helped me with my studying and I definitely recommend it for anyone who wishes to improve any aspect of their life specially studying."
Bonus tech hack: Set up an e-mail filter or block his number so he can't get in touch with you.
There's probably nothing worse than checking your inbox just to see a surprise email from your ex asking when he can come by and pick up his last box of stuff (cue, heart drop).
Almost all major services give you the option to opt-out of emails from a specific address.
In Gmail, you can block your ex by filtering emails. Open a message from your ex and click "more" in the right-hand corner to drop open options. From there, you can select to filter out your ex.
That way, you still receive your ex's messages (in the event of an emergency), but they don't flood your inbox.
Alexandra Churchill is a digital editor based in New York City who currently works for Martha Stewart Living. Her work has been featured on numerous sites including The Huffington Post, Her Campus, USA TODAY College, and Northshore and Ocean Home magazines.