Women Cheat For Entirely Different Reasons Than Men — And The Motives Aren't What You May Think

If you've ever been cheated on, you know what it feels like to have your heart broken in two. The initial feeling can bring an almost paralyzing shock before turning into devastation and sadness.

Because we're only human, we sometimes take the blame for why our partners cheat. Instead of asking ourselves why we think our partner would be so unhappy they would choose to cheat instead of working through the issue with you, we immediately blame ourselves.

But why? Often, it seems to make more sense that way. Senior VP of Experts Melanie Gorman sits down with relationship experts John Gray, LiYana Silver, Debi Berndt, and Tammy Nelson to talk about why women cheat, a question that's plagued the minds of many.

Women cheat for entirely different reasons than men — and the motives aren't what you may think.

Ilona Kozhevnikova via Shutterstock

Was she unsatisfied with your sex life? Asking yourself questions like these doesn't do anything to heal the pain, as shown in a 2007 study. All it does is reopen the wound and make it harder to move past the adultery.

Some people believe men cheat for physical reasons, like sex, while women cheat for emotional reasons, like communication issues — but in reality, things are much more complicated than that.

Men can cheat for emotional reasons and women can cheat for sex, so you know it happens both ways. Yet, constantly thinking about what happened and choosing to beat yourself up with questions you can't answer becomes agony. 

When you overthink like this, it is easy to trick yourself into thinking that she could have just cheated for the sake of cheating, instead of having her reason. 

Because everyone's situation is so different, it can sometimes be hard to pinpoint the exact reason a person had an affair, but often other relationship problems affect the situation.

Relationship problems can stem from various issues, many of which can lead to cheating partners. While no one can say for sure what drives a woman's desire to commit adultery, the experts come pretty close to demystifying the question on many people's minds.

It's a curiosity, a feeling you can't go without them, and of course, it never turns out well. But, it's a strong feeling and if people don't understand these tendencies, we're naive and setting ourselves up to cheat.

Some women take their power and toss it into the laps of men, then hop from man to man to fulfill what they don't find within themselves, and the cycle of always looking for the grass is greener or the greener guy continues.

Some women feel a spiritual urge where they have a drive to connect on a deeper level. A 2023 study from the American Psychological Association helps us see they are always going out looking for the next person to connect with and never feel satisfied because there's something else they want.

It becomes a pattern consistently driving their life, so they have to look within themselves and see why.

Cheating doesn't mean you have to end the marriage. It does mean you can work it out and find forgiveness. We all make mistakes in life, and we don't throw out a whole family because somebody made a mistake. you look to rebuild your relationship from there.

Men and women can get the same results but they often get those results by coming from different directions. So, if they come together from different directions with the same goal, they can produce better results, and it is the same in our relationships. If we can honor those differences, we come together more positively.

Check out the experts' full discussion in the video below:

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