A little advice, Jeff Foxworthy-style, about breakups.
By Tom Miller — Written on Mar 13, 2015
I’ve never been a huge fan of Jeff Foxworthy but I appreciate the ability to send a message through repetition and riding that busted record into millions of dollars and a show where a bunch of smart-ass kids humiliate some dullards. Please enjoy the top ten signs you might need to break up with your ex:
- If you constantly retweet him and add, "SOOOO funny & SOOOO true," you might need to Break Up With Your Ex.
- If you post on his mom's Facebook wall on her birthday, you might need to Break Up With Your Ex.
- If you learn everything you can about a girl who "Liked" something he posted on FB, you might need to Break Up With Your Ex.
- If "So Close To You" plays when he calls (in your head or on your phone), you might need to Break Up With Your Ex.
- If you immediately think of the fastest way to get there when he checks in to a place on Foursquare, you might need to Break Up With Your Ex.
- If you fall off the treadmill sobbing every time the first song you ever danced to ("Yeah" by Ursher) plays on your iPod, you might need to Break Up With Your Ex.
- If your screensaver is a montage of him doing karate dance moves, you might need to Break Up With Your Ex.
- If you can’t "take care of personal, lady business" without listening to an old voicemail from him, you might need to Break Up With Your Ex.
- If you subscribe to his podcast and leave 90% of the comments about it in iTunes, you might need to Break Up With Your Ex.
- If your profile picture is of the two of you after winning a couples Buffalo wing-eating contest, you might need to Break Up With Your Ex.