27 Strangest Love & Sex Stories Of 2010
There was some seriously strange love in 2010.
Despite having the most information (ever) at our fingertips and the greatest likelihood (ever) of being caught and made an object of public scorn and ridicule for doing dumb things, we are living in an age of people doing really dumb stuff. Sure, people have always done super ridiculous stuff (like creating the Anglican church) but, somewhere between Say Anything and Jackass, we started making a bunch of questionable calls about love and relationships. Here are the most interesting things we learned from the past year's worth of weird news.
1. Couple Sneaks Into House For Sex, Leaves Tape Behind
Fooling around outdoors can feel thrilling, especially considering the chance of getting caught. But as we learned, breaking into a house and leaving behind a video of the business is really dumb.
2. Hotel Offers Free Stay To Couples Willing To Make A Sex Tape
If you want the thrill of being seen, try leaving the blinds open OR stay at this hotel for free.
3. Survey Shows Many Young Brits Not Sure Where Babies Come From
You may have to let youngish Brits watch you in that sex hotel because, according to a survey, many of them don’t know where babies come from.
4. Many People On ED Medication Getting STDs
It would also behoove them to know that just because you're old and can't conceive, it doesn't mean that you can't still transmit VDs. Because, evidently, older folks on Viagra don’t know this.
5. Indonesian Guy Gets Pressured Into Marrying Cow
Interspecies lovin' is never a good idea, a fact that one Indonesian fellow learned when he was forced to marry a cow after forcing himself upon it. The touching ceremony was followed not by a raucous reception, but by a slaughtering of the violated cow.
6. Mom Frames Daughter For Terrorism To Halt Wedding
That's not the only wedding to come to a weird end. A mom decided to stop her daughter's wedding by framing her for terrorism. Lesson learned? Mothers will go to great lengths to forcibly inject themselves into your love life.
7. Finally, There Are Weddings At McDonalds
Weddings are now budget-friendly! Yep. And you can now have your very own McWedding (in China).
8. Turkish Wedding Goes Awry When AK-47 Involved
Guns and weddings don’t mix. Self-explanatory, right?
9. More Reasons Why Guns And Weddings Don't Mix
But apparently, it's a lesson we had to learn twice.
10. Twitter Lands Chinese Couple In Jail On Their Wedding Day
But guns and terrorist threats aren’t the only things ruining weddings. Sometimes Twitter does, too. Tweetsie says, "be discreet when you tweet."
11. Japanese Couple Married By A Robot Priest
Then again, sometimes technology actually pulls a wedding together. In Japan, a robot officiated a wedding, and managed to restrain itself from zapping anyone with lasers.
12. Japan And The US Battling For Pillow Girlfriend Supremacy
And this robot pastor may have helped the Japanese outpace the U.S. in the most crucial technology of all: pillow girlfriends. Pillows can lead to fulfilling love lives, people. Honest. Ask James Franco.
13. iPhoner Have More Sex Than Blackberry Or Droid Users
Want to get some action? We're not sure if they're having sex with pillows or not, but iPhone users do it more than people using a Droid or a Blackberry.
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14. 1 In 5 People Have Sexted The Wrong Person
Regardless of phone type, 20 percent of us have used said phone to sext the wrong person. "Yeah, mom it’s just shorthand for, um, I want you to, hmm, stop by my home." Let this be a lesson to you: don't sext. Ever. It's just not worth the risk.
15. Menstrual Cramps Mess With A Woman's Brain
Maybe we can’t blame bad texts on inattentiveness alone. It turns out that menstrual cramps also cramp our brains (I mean lady brains, not some lewd reference to the male body).
16. Couple Sues Counselor Over Advice To Cheat
Speaking of brain cramps, a couple claims that their therapist instructed the husband to cheat a bit. And now they’d like him to give them monies for their subsequent pain and suffering. Lesson? Take all advice with an entire cup-full of salt.
17. Chicago Couple Sues To Prove They're Not Swingers
And other people are getting in on the litigiousness. A Chicago-area couple did not like the rumor that they were swingers, and they sued everyone and won. It’s a different kind of key party, ya'll.
18. Judge Orders Couple To Bisect Home With "Divorce Wall"
Not all judges stop at cash settlements and stern warnings. A humerous New York judge made a couple build a wall down the middle of their home. I hope they have two bathrooms. Hello!
19. Straight Couple Denied Civil Union Twice
Goll dern it, a UK couple has been denied their appeal for a civil union. Apparently, the powers that be have a separate thing for them. Some doohickey called a "marriage."
20. Cougar Sneaks Warcraft-Loving Canadian Teen Paramour Into America
At least they were of consensual age. An American lady snuck into Canada (not a mean feat) and brought her Warcraft-loving younger fella back to the USofGross. A nice reminder that being a cougar is okay... but only if your man is of age.
21. Lovesick Fellow Shuts Down Newark Airport
A dude in Newark didn't break any international laws, but did shut down the busiest airport in America's most densely populated state by sneaking past a distracted member of the TSA and embracing his departing lover. No one was particularly amused. Don't mess with airline security, people.
22. Diabolical Woman Gets Arrested For Thinking 911 Dispatch Is A Dating Service
Our law enforcement and security personnel, nay heroes, are not here to facilitate our love lives. A woman in Ohio had to spend some time in the slammer to learn that one after trying to get dates by dialing 911.
23. Court Says: Dutch HMOs Also Not An "Escort Service"
And one Dutchman learned the same thing regarding health practitioners and care-givers. They are not here to sponge-bathe one body part until it makes a bigger mess.
24. Did Woman Fake Leukemia For Dream Wedding?
Speaking of really bad tricks, a woman in New York is alleged to have concocted a Leukemia ruse to get people to pay for her wedding. She was not available for comment.
25. Bride Takes Down Groom & Joey Chestnut In Cake-Eating Contest
But a much more fun woman in Jacksonville, Florida had a much, much more fun plot: challenge her eating champion husband (and hot dog muncher extraordinaire Joey Chestnut) to a cake-eating contest. A nice reminder that you should try to connect with your partner based upon their hobbies and interests and humiliate them by being better at everything.
26. Lady Sets Record With 100+ Bridesmaids
While we're not sure if a record was set there, a bride did set a record by having 110 bridesmaids. Many of them lil kids. Adorable.
27. Orgy With Guns And Drugs Predictably Ends Badly
And here's a lesson on why drugs, orgies and guns are fine and dandy on their own, but are like oil and water and fire and sharks and open wounds and chainsaws when put together.
Let’s hope that all the ridiculous things in 2011 happen to other people and don't involve firearms, fraudulent weddings OR the TSA.