When Lesbian Obsessions Backfire On Men

As fairly opened-minded women, we're not ashamed to admit we've never 100% gotten the whole straight guy, hot lesbian obsession.

It's just one of those things, and quite honestly, men and women have such different sexual quirks that we just throw bisexual bedmates on the pile with porn, silicone and Kim Kardashian (we don't really get any of it).

Nor can we relate. The vast majority of us ladies aren't praying for an invite to be the meat in a gay man sex sandwich, nor do we hope our boyfriends make out and fondle their male friends. It just doesn't really translate for us in the same way.

In fact, we'd be more inclined to think: Is he gay?

Which is why the Details article, "Flirting With Disaster"—about men who find out their threesome-loving ladies are lesbians—is absolutely brilliant.

Of course that could happen, and frankly, part of us is happy it does. Nothing's worse then an orchestrated threesome purely to bait a man's attention. And nothing's better than a threesomes that's just as fulfilling for the lady—or in some cases, more.

Amity Pierce Buxton, founder of the Straight Spouse Network, which sponsors support groups for spouses and partners who have or had LGBT husbands and wives, estimates that three out of ten claims are men.

And what the author of the article calls "cruel irony" we call "reality." Why wouldn't a cunnilingus-loving wife one day pick up and join the other team? Perhaps Michelle is better in bed than Michael, but men (traditionally) never seem to anticipate that kind of threat with a threesome.

The article tells the story of some poor sap, Owen, who is pleased as punch to find out his wife used to bang ladies back in college and still fantasizes about her lesbian past.

"It instantly benefited our sex life," Owen says. "We were able to look at and compare attractive women together. We shared sexual fantasies based on her having multiple women." What's strange about this tale is that Owen and Lady X never brought another women into the bedroom. It was pure fantasy.

As it turns out, all the girlish dirty talk got Lady X's juices revving for the real thing and swiftly dumped Owen for another women. Oh, snap!

On the flipside, another story details a man so crazy obsessed with the notion of his girlfriend having sex with another woman that he bugged her about it until she finally agreed. While initially against it, she got intimate with one of his bisexual female friends. Although he didn't join in (he watched), the relationship crumbled because she felt "used" and "exploited." Of course her boyfriend was dumbfounded.

While we can hardly blame men for being so naive—our society is so ruthlessly out of whack when it comes to objectifying women—they should begin to take on a more sophisticated view of bisexuality, threesomes and women in general.

Enough of this Playboy channel pressure that in order to be suitably feminine we must want to sleep with women like men. One of the best things about us ladies is the work it takes to gain access to our sexuality, and the emotional respect, deep down, we inherently demand.
 

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As Amity says, "It is sensationalized—we get off watching two women. But real life does not operate that way."

As fairly opened-minded women, we're not ashamed to admit we've never 100% gotten the whole straight guy, hot lesbian obsession.

It's just one of those things, and quite honestly, men and women have such different sexual quirks that we just throw bisexual bedmates on the pile with porn, silicone and Kim Kardashian (we don't really get any of it).

Nor can we relate. The vast majority of us ladies aren't praying for an invite to be the meat in a gay man sex sandwich, nor do we hope our boyfriends make out and fondle their male friends. It just doesn't really translate for us in the same way.

In fact, we'd be more inclined to think: Is he gay?

Which is why the Details article, "Flirting With Disaster"—about men who find out their threesome-loving ladies are lesbians—is absolutely brilliant.

Of course that could happen, and frankly, part of us is happy it does. Nothing's worse then an orchestrated threesome purely to bait a man's attention. And nothing's better than a threesomes that's just as fulfilling for the lady—or in some cases, more.

Amity Pierce Buxton, founder of the Straight Spouse Network, which sponsors support groups for spouses and partners who have or had LGBT husbands and wives, estimates that three out of ten claims are men.

And what the author of the article calls "cruel irony" we call "reality." Why wouldn't a cunnilingus-loving wife one day pick up and join the other team? Perhaps Michelle is better in bed than Michael, but men (traditionally) never seem to anticipate that kind of threat with a threesome.

The article tells the story of some poor sap, Owen, who is pleased as punch to find out his wife used to bang ladies back in college and still fantasizes about her lesbian past.

"It instantly benefited our sex life," Owen says. "We were able to look at and compare attractive women together. We shared sexual fantasies based on her having multiple women." What's strange about this tale is that Owen and Lady X never brought another women into the bedroom. It was pure fantasy.

As it turns out, all the girlish dirty talk got Lady X's juices revving for the real thing and swiftly dumped Owen for another women. Oh, snap!

On the flipside, another story details a man so crazy obsessed with the notion of his girlfriend having sex with another woman that he bugged her about it until she finally agreed. While initially against it, she got intimate with one of his bisexual female friends. Although he didn't join in (he watched), the relationship crumbled because she felt "used" and "exploited." Of course her boyfriend was dumbfounded.

While we can hardly blame men for being so naive—our society is so ruthlessly out of whack when it comes to objectifying women—they should begin to take on a more sophisticated view of bisexuality, threesomes and women in general.

Enough of this Playboy channel pressure that in order to be suitably feminine we must want to sleep with women like men. One of the best things about us ladies is the work it takes to gain access to our sexuality, and the emotional respect, deep down, we inherently demand.

As Amity says, "It is sensationalized—we get off watching two women. But real life does not operate that way."