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Why does my boyfriend always look at other women in front of me?

Published on December 3, 2012 by doodlebug

I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year, and just recently moved in with him. We get a long great and have fun together. But lately he seems to be checking out girls more then he use too. My boyfriend is 43 and I am 49. He is really really cute and gets hit on or checked out all the time. I am attractive I do not look my age, I look like I am in my late 30's. I wear a jr size 1. I too get hit on and looked at. I guess I need to understand guys and dating again. As I am divorced from a marriage of over 27 years. I guess when he does this in front of me, it hurts it makes me feel not important. I am not a jealous person by nature, but I guess when he does this, I do become jealous, as I feel he maybe really does not want to be with me, even though he tells me and shows me daily he loves me. How do I overcome this?

ANSWERS

He's a guy, so he's GOING to look. As long as he's making an effort to be discreet about it and not do it right in front of you, let it go and remind yourself that, while he looks, YOU'RE the one he chooses to be with. Guys whose wives/girlfriends draw attention from other men have a saying, "...yeah - but at the end of the night, I'M the one she's going home with!"

If he's being very blatant about it and oogling or flirting with women in front of you, then he's rude and inconsiderate, and you may wish to reevaluate why you're staying with him and putting up with it.

Doodle,

Do a Internet search for the phrase "morbid jealousy" and see if it fits you. Some jealousy is normal, but if he is constantly reassuring you of his love verbally and non-verbally, then you might be overreacting and making the situation worse. If the description fits you, you might want to see a medical professional.

Watch your thoughts and when you start to doubt that he wants to be with you, pause and ask yourself what is true-- what do you have proof to back up? It could be that he's looking at other women in a way that's inappropriate. When you can do so calmly, talk with him about this. Do NOT make an accusation but do say things like, "When you look at other women in that way, I feel__" Focus on how you feel and on the specific behaviors that trigger your jealousy.

In other words, ask him to change a specific behavior but make sure you are also questioning your jealous thoughts.

Best Wishes, Susie and Otto

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