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When is the appropriate time to bring up marriage?

Published on December 31, 2012 by jacquelineruso

I'm 23, graduating college this year, and i'm looking to settle down. I come from a close knit family where marriage and family's really important to us. I don't want to be in a relationship with a man and I come to find out later on that he doesn't want marriage/family and I do. I'm currently single right now and marriage/family's really important to me. I'm not saying the next man I hop into a relationship with needs to propose to me stat by tomorrow or even next month but when's the right time to bring it up without scaring the guy off? I just want to know if he has plans for getting married in general (it doesn't have to be with me).

ANSWERS

On January 2, 2013, jadailha said:

I hope that you find a partner that will be suitable for marriage. I think that after about a year in a productive relationship, marriage should be discussed. Some may disagree, but I think a year is more than reasonable. I wish you the best of luck.

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On January 3, 2013, tanstaafl2 said:

As an engineer, I'm stereotypically lacking a romantic streak. I always figured if you know there is some trait that you absolutely MUST have in a man, establish early on whether or not he has it, then don't waste any more time once you determine that he does not. You don't have to grill him on his family plans on the first date, but you should be able to discuss such things as you are discovering each other over ealry on in the dating. If he has no desire to "tie himself down", he's not the one for you. If he likes the idea of eventually marrying and having a family, but hasn't found the right woman yet, he may have potential.

As far as finding such a man, there are several dating websites and services that are explicitly oriented towards marriage-minded singles. You may not find Mr. Right there, but you at least know that any man you find through such a service is there for the same reason you are.

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