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Give Advice: Am I A Slut Because I've Slept With Over 25 Men?

Published on October 26, 2010 by ifeellikeshit

I feel awful. My boyfriend few days ago asked me with how many guys I have slept with I told him that ive slept with 7 guys I lied. I didnt want to. But still he called me a slut and I felt so bad because I lied  and imagine if I have said the real number of guys that I have slept with. He was so angry with me he even told me to break up, but later on, cause I was crying so much, he told me that he wants me and he won't leave me. I really didn't want to sleep with so many people and I have regret it but I did it so I can't change it. I'm in love with him and I don't want to lose him. I'm so sad

ANSWERS

Well,obviously you recognize that a promiscuous lifestyle is NOT the way to go. It's wrong from a moral standpoint and can cause diseases as well and I know that isn't what you want for yourself and most importantly that isn't what God wants for you. This kind of thing causes pain and heartache which from what you have said I think you are now learning. Sex is a sacred thing that should be shared between a MARRIED couple not something you do with whoever you can. I don't want to make you feel worse and I'm not going to refer to you in a nasty way because that's not how I am. I may not know you,but nevertheless I care about what happens to you and I want to see you have better. No matter what you have done God loves you and He only wants the best for you and if you'll trust Him and ask him to forgive you and guide you,I PROMISE He will. I will be praying for you.

I'm not sure how old your are, Doll. (And, don't be obliged to tell me) One thing is for sure..that's if this guy is your boyfriend, he's gotten to know how you react intimately. If he's man enough to accept your sexuality for himself, then he'd better have the balls to accept that your sexuality existed before him. Women don't simply go from Virgin to "I'm ready to get down" in 24hrs. This is the most frustrating double standard that never ceases to escape some male minds. He's a Idiot for calling you a slut...mainly because he wasn't there when any of it happened and cannot read your mind. How is he supposed to know what you were thinking what may have been over a decade ago?

If, and IF, he's only been with a few partners, and he feels insecure and feels the need to call you names and treaten you, so that he can somehow feel better about his manhood...then that's on him. I would not go running back to him and start apologizing for something you cannot rewind. Instead, let him know that he's a dumbazz, and if he's so into "good girls"...let him go find one.

Wake up Babe, don't let your boyfriend start telling you who you are! You know who you are.

If you have your own convictions...let that marinate within yourself. Personally, I think that women that are simply confident and sexually direct are not sluts...they just don't fit into what mainstream (still in 2010) wants "respectable" women to be. The main thing "Sluts" get a reputation for is that they act out pomiscuously in order to get attention...which essentially makes it NOT a good thing.

It's up to you, you, you, to decide what 25+ partners means, not your boyfriend!

;)

I'm so sorry your boyfriend made you feel bad about your experiences. That he called you slut would make me think he has some pent-up desires that make him feel uncomfortable, so he's projecting this onto you. Name-calling and making other people feel bad generally originate from fear. So, maybe you can help him work through some of that... if you are committed to him. Also, I would recommend you read this awesome post from one of our Experts about having sex without regret. I hope it helps! http://www.yourtango.com/proconnect/201084983/single-life-how-have-sex-without-regrets [HTML_REMOVED]I'm so sorry your boyfriend made you feel bad about your experiences. That he called you slut would make me think he has some pent-up desires that make him feel uncomfortable, so he's projecting this discomfort onto you. Name-calling and making other people feel bad generally originate from fear. So, maybe you can help him work through some of that... if you are committed to him. Also, I would recommend you read this awesome post from one of our Experts about having sex without regret. I hope it helps! http://www.yourtango.com/proconnect/201084983/single-life-how-have-sex-without-regrets[HTML_REMOVED]

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