2 Important Things You MUST Do To Skillfully Move Past Your Divorce
It will get worse before it gets better.
WeHeartIt To be honest, life after your divorce can get really sad before you start to feel good about yourself again. You'll feel lonely and often have second thoughts about the whole situation and think, Was this divorce really worth it? But here are the facts: Your marriage didn't work out, and getting back together (most likely) won't solve any of your issues. So, it's time to move on (yes, it's possible!). Focus on you and what makes you happy. Divorce coach Dr. Karen Finn says that getting over your divorce all comes down to taking care of yourself and focusing on meeting your immediate needs. Here are two things she says will help you blaze through this rough patch with your head held high.
Here are 2 important things you must do to skillfully move past your divorce:
1. Know your life situation
Understand what's currently going on in your life and consider what you would like to maintain or potentially change. Then, you can set realistic goals to satisfy your immediate needs that will set your life on a path that works for you. Maybe you've always dreamed of going to Italy but never had the courage to actually make it a reality, so you were too scared. Now you can. The only person who has the power to change your life is yourself. You can choose to do things that will make you happy.
2. Take baby steps
This divorce has knocked the wind out of you. Right now, you're probably feeling very emotional, lonely and stressed. It's going to take time for you to feel like your best self again. Remember, these feelings are not permanent, and you will feel happy again. So just take it one day at a time. "You need to be able to take compassionate baby steps towards the life that you want," explains Finn. "And before you know it, you'll be through your divorce and living the life that you really want."
No one wants to go through a divorce, but it's a better option than staying in a marriage you hate for the rest of your life. A lot of people also refuse to go through a divorce because they don't think they'll be able to survive it, and they've gotten comfortable being in the relationship they're in. Listen, I'm here to tell you that going through a divorce is going to hurt, but it has to before it will get better. But it will get better. You will be able to enjoy life again, but you have to take the first step. You can, and will, be happy again!
Dr. Karen Finn is a divorce and life coach. Her writing on marriage, divorce, and co-parenting has appeared on MSN, Yahoo, Psych Central, Huffington Post, Prevention, and The Good Men Project, among others.